pain. a chapter in god's teachings.

this is the conversation between my friend and i.

fren: dont worry bro, god has a plan for all of us.
me: why does god want to teach me "pain"?
fren: god may just want us to learn more about ourselves, our life and do a reflection. cause when we are in pain and suffering, thats when we learn the most.
me: kinda like a reflection on ourselves?
fren: yap yap.

just how many times have i been full of myself and moved on taking things for granted and only to find that i have hurt people beside me, friends and loved ones. plenty.
and i do have to agree that when im down, tore, tired, its when i reflect on myself, to make myself a better human being.

after all these years, i feel that i have improved a little and i matured a little. but im still as immature as before, im still as lousy when it comes to controlling my deepest emotions.
my deepest of apologies to those that i have subconsciously hurt.


its been a long time since i last said my prayers. today shall be day 1.

dear god.
please bless me with the strength to move on. the strength to be able to understand life better and to be more at peace with myself so that i can help people around me and the least i could do is to stop hurting them subconsciously.