The accident

I was riding my push-bike (roadie) along Lemount Road when my accident happened. This is a road which I ride along every Tuesday to go for training at Challenge Stadium. After turning left into Lemount Road, my front wheel got caught into a thin gap between the drain covers and I was thrown over my handle bars. Everything happened so fast. All I saw was the drain, felt a sudden drop, then my world turned upside down and before the word “f*ck” could come out, I felt this huge impact on my head and the next thing I knew, I was lying on the ground in a really awkward position. I was breathing hard and I felt so weak. I took a couple of deep breaths and made my breathing regular. 

Ok. Breathing regular checked. 

Now its time to sit up. Sit up.... Sit up! 

Turn the body and sit up! 

Shit. I aint moving at all. 

Ok... never mind.. Move your fingers zac. 

Move it. 

Wriggle!!! 

Come on... Think harder! Try harder. 

....

Just the thumb now. Come on…… 

ok. It aint moving at all. Let’s check the toes. 

Wriggle a little.. 

come on.. 

......

move the head, turn it, come on. F*ck.

HELP!!!! Come on.. speak up. Voice out. HELP!! 

All I managed was a helpless faint sound. I felt disconnected. What seemed to be normal and easy is now all "wrong". 

A lady was walking down the slopes, listening to her music. I tried to cry out for her over and over again, hoping that she will hear me. Blood started flowing down my face and started collecting on my sun glasses. I was helpless. I was .. paralysed. I felt so alone, I felt like my life has ended. 

I’m only 27. Is this the end for me? There are so many more things for me to do. I don’t want to die..

If I survive this.. will I be a burden to Shina and my family?

How am I going to spend the next 50 years in this state?

Why me?!

All the hours I have put into my marathon training and it all ends in 1 second. WTF!

How am I going to turn up for my best mate’s wedding? I want to be there... ….

I wasnt racing.. I wasnt fast..

I wasnt going out to play.. I was going to do my research... I have been good....

My Lord, is this your decision for me? 

I almost cried. Then I remembered Kristen Koh and her story.  

Kristen didn’t give up. I see her walking, riding to school. The story is real and alive. I won’t give up too. My lord, if this is your plan for me, please give me inner peace to deal with it. Please give me inner peace. Please allow me to know what to do from now onwards. This is the time to fight for your life Zac. Let’s fight from now on.. do not sleep. DO NOT SLEEP!

The lady finally saw me and came walking towards me. She stopped about 4 feet away from me.

L: Are you alright?

Z: no…

L: oh no..

#YEAH! OH NO! You see a man lying on the floor motionless, bleeding through his nose and head and this is what you can come up with? Seriously lady?

L: Do you want me to help?

Z: yes…

L: What so you want me to do?

Z: …. *continues to bleed and choke on my own blood

A car pulled over and a couple alighted. The guy came immediately and put his head close to my face.

G1: Hey mate, hang in there. What’s your name?

Z: Zac..

G1: Do you want me to call an ambulance?

Z: … yes …

G1: *looked at the lady* Have you called the ambulance?

L: Oh!! Ermm.. no. Should I call now?

#So feel like slapping you now…

G1: yes! Please. Since you are holding onto your phone…

G1: Zac, how did this happen?

Z: drain…

G1: I can’t hear you mate. Come again?

Z: drain.

G1: Yap ok. You take a rest.

L: What happened?

G1: He said he got hit by a train.

#I am on a bicycle path, where on earth is the train or railway mate? Grrr…

Another car pulled over and some more people gathered.

G2: What happened?

G1: He said he got hit by a train..

G2: Is he on drugs?? … or drunk?

I started praying again.. for more inner peace.

Dear Lord, I really have no idea why this happened. Please give me the faith to trust your decision. I have come to realise how fragile my life is. I would love to live, to recover, to run again. To a certain extent, luckily I’m not a good cyclist like my team mates, if not it would have been far worse. Thank you for keeping my tri team mates safe, especially James and Steph... Maybe there is a higher purpose to this.. I need to live another day... I must!

The ambulance came a while later and I allowed my body to “rest” a little more. The only few distinct moments I remembered was when the paramedics asked me who they should contact to collect my bike. “My coach. He will know everything”. At that moment I had absolute faith that my coach will make everything right. At least the administration part. I relaxed more and went into a daze....

to be continued...

 

This is the gap that almost claimed my life. wasn't really too wide. the gap could hardly fit the roadie's wheel.