Everyday I am stuck in
the rehabilitation hospital. Going for PT (physio therapy) and OT (occupational
therapy) and all the in between events became like a schedule.
0730H Wake up
0800H Medicine time
0830H Walk along corridor
(~50m)
0945H Wheel to OT
1200H Lunch
1345H Medicine + Wheel
to PT
1600H Rest
1700H Dinner
1800H Medicine
1900H Snack
2000H Medicine
2200H Medicine + Sleep
Life in rehab center
was pretty full on. Seems simple but it sure wasn’t, especially when I push
myself to my limit during every OT and PT. There are days when I pushed myself
so hard for OT that I couldn’t make it to PT and there were also days when I
pushed myself so hard for PT and I couldn’t wake up for OT. In addition,
medications have multiple side effects, which meant that there were “up days”
and there were “down days”. When down days came, even moving to the toilet is a
tough job.
Prior to my accidents,
I could not distinguish the difference between OT and PT (im sorry to all my
health professional friends). Now, I know the differences well. I know they are
both needed and they are both very important in having a full rehab.
The OT does all the
functional therapy. I learnt how to use my fingers, wrist, shoulders in OT. The
OT taught me simple functional tasks. When I first regained movement of my
right fingers, my OT gave me a huge challenge.
OT: Nice polo shirt
you have there Zac
Me: Yeah. My mate gave
this to me.
OT: Nice! So, who did
the buttons for you?
Me: My girlfriend did
*smile*
OT: Oh no! That’s no
good isn’t it? You have to dress yourself.
Eh? I am a spinal
patient and I have just moved my fingers 2 days ago. Are you freaking kidding
me?
OT: Come on. Do it
yourself. Let me get you something.
So my OT went to get
his props for this activity. The buttons on the shirt was made of varying
sizes. The biggest button would be perfect on a clown and the smallest button
would be the size of the button on my polo.
OT: Go on. Try it.
Me being me, started
with the smallest button. (so damn typical of me.)
Failed.
Ok. Next bigger
button.
Failed.
Next button.
Failed.
Fail
Fail
Fail
Ok. Biggest button
now.
Fail.
****
Seriously? =(
OT: Its ok. Let me
teach you. First, you try to place your finger in this position. Then you try
to aim for the slit, push it through with your thumb and …
WHY AM I LEARNING HOW
TO BUTTON MYSELF AFTER 27 YEARS?!?!
I was instantly
depressed and I guess my face shows it all. So everyone left me for a while. I
sat there alone, looking at buttons. This seems to be the hardest task I have
done in my life. WTF magic is this?! These are just buttons. This is seriously not
hard. But its so hard. F…
I took a while to sink
in my self-pity and denial and I do what I do best. PICK MYSELF UP.
Ok. This used to be easy but you know what? I
am no longer the same.
I have to embrace my new body. I have do
everything right. Get the fundamental right.
Be patient. I am having my second childhood
now. Remember. I am a baby.
Ok. Lets go.
I will master this button thingy today and get
it out of the way. Tomorrow will be a better day. One step at a time, I can
make things happen. Just got to do it. Lets kill the buttons today. LETS GO!
So I practiced
buttoning on the prop for 30 minutes before my fingers could no longer move.
OT: Zac, hows things
going?
Me: Its alright. I
think I am getting better at this. But my fingers are no longer moving..
OT: Oh it looks good!
Good job. No worries. Your fingers are probably tired. You need to build up
your fingers. Its just like weights training, like in the gym. We will continue
tomorrow.
Buttoning is gym
training now. Look how far I have degraded. (Even as I type this now, it sends
chills down my spine, thinking back at all these is an absolute nightmare) Try
again tomorrow eh? Alright. I will smash this sh*t tomorrow. I will have my
secret training tonight and surprise you tomorrow. Hell yeah.
FYI, secret training didn’t
happen. I was really too smashed from the morning’s OT. This is how important
an OT is. No freaking point in being able to run if I cant feed / write/ button
my clothes. Aint gonna be too “normal” isn’t it. This was how far out I am from
where I was a couple of weeks ago. Saddening but true.
It is really weird to
know that I have some walking (actually limping) ability while I have no fine
motor skills. Super screwed up. I could limp but I didn’t have any dorsi
flexion. Sucks. Ok, apologies on the technical terms. So bottom line is, I am
no longer normal and I no longer function normally. Yes. No longer normal.
Life really aint that
bad when one could walk or write or eat on their own or walk to the toilet on
our own and to void normally. Sometimes, we just forget how blessed we are.
making one of the first few attempts of standing up. Who is that idiot that told me i wouldnt stand in the year?
No comments:
Post a Comment