More bad news. again.

Something has been weighing me down since Tuesday. Saw a different Doctor at the hospital for my #spinalcordinjury review here in Perth and was told (again) that:

1. It is a "miracle" that I am able to do what I do now. But, I will not improve further;

2. I may be basically waiting for my condition to worsen bringing me back to "where the prognosis was originally stated";

3. Me training so hard on a daily basis is "trading" whatever limited "miracle" time i have left before my condition worsens.

These are not new information but this just weighs me down so badly and it makes me think if whatever I am doing now, is the best for me. Especially if this is the opening statement whenever I visit a new doctor. In addition, this doctor gave a new insight stating that my next fall could be one that sends me back to my wheelchair because it affects my nerves.

This reminds me of what a privilege it is to stand, walk and run. I am excited about the future as I push for the #paralympics but I also fear for it, if the doctor is right. Subconsciously, this has been holding me back for my past 2 training sessions and I really need to clear my mind to get on with "whatever's left. Given the fact that I have been having unexplainable blurred vision and dizziness at times, I think I am beginning to buy into this story. Funny how I always have bad news coming to me whenever I start running well. Wonder if this is a sign or a distraction..

In serious desperate need of some positive energy. Dear Lord, help me tide this one through.

I have no doubt in my determination to constantly push myself to my limits even if my body were to start to deteriorate. But it is more of "if its worth it" and "if the doctors are right".

OR

I can just think of it as: since I am a miracle, i do not obey the normal projected pathway.

Yeah. I think I will go on with that theory. Lets just treasure the moment, continue better my best and hope that I will wake up walking the next day.

After chatting with my fiancé, we have come to the conclusion to live my and our lives to the fullest and not hold back. Quality of life and enjoying what I love. What a good wifey =)

This actually sounds like a good plan. All the more I have got to make my "remaining running days" worth while. I pray that I will be able to taste the freedom of running for a long time to come.. And that i will go a little faster.. And maybe do a sub 4 hour marathon again.

Please.. Lets just keep going on.

Everything is possible for one who believes (Mark 9:23). #webelieve

In fact, he doesnt even want to have a follow-up appointment with me because it was all "done-deal" and probably improvements in medical treatments for me wouldnt come soon enough.

My last fall might very well end everything. But.. lets go for it. Not in my character to hold back.

First race of 2016

When the ASEAN Para Games ended, one important question was looming over my head.

What's next?

Obviously the next big meet would be the Rio Olympics and Paralympics but I am ready to actually challenge at that level, or even simply to qualify for it?

I took a good look at my 1500m results and I needed to shave off 45s in order to qualify for it.

45s is a massive time to cut. Maybe I should just wait for Tokyo 2020...

After sitting on that thought for a while, I realised that I have never backed down from a challenge, so why should I back down now? Regardless if I qualify for Rio2016, I will still train hard isn't it? So might as well go for it. Make the fullest of every moment in life and live with no regret!

With that goal set, I knew I needed help while I am in Singapore and fortunately, I was given the opportunity to train with Singapore Athletics National head coach, Luis Cunha, who is a biomechanist sprints expert. Knowing that my running gait is my limiting factor, I am excited to see how improving my gait will help me in my runs. 

Before I knew it, the SAA series 1 arrived. 

I was really glad to see other para-athletes participating in this series. I believe this is a first step taken to integrate para-sports into the abled-body events. Its good for confidence building for para-athletes and also for public awareness too! =)

Para athletes competing in the 200m.

Although my daily workouts and warmups have changed drastically over these 2 months, my pre-race warm up was kept the same.

As for me, it was this standard routine that makes me feel comfortable, focused and ready to race, regardless the race and location. Thanks to sports science for this wonderful knowledge and habit =p

Popped on my sony smart B-trainers, listening to my favourite Japanese rock music and away I went for my warm up jog and drills with my asics tri noosa. Unfortunately, no cooling vest this time round =(

While waiting at the call room, I went through the motions that coach Luis often reminded me of: "no back mechanics!". 

Then, there I was standing at the starting line. Said my prayers and I got ready. No block starts this time round simply because I haven't been practicing it. Rather lose that 0.2s than to fall face down =x. 

My mind thought of nothing, it was a state of blank and BANG! 

Body falling forward, knees up, elbows blocked, I have taken off.

I ran a very evenly paced 400m and finished with a timing of 67.11s.

A trade mark I had make for myself over the years. 

A new personal best and renewed my previous "national record". 

In 2 months, I shaved off 3.49s in the 400m.

This would have been deemed "impossible" to able-bodied or para-athletes. 

If you never try, you'll never know. *grins*

Getting a new 400m PB gave me the confidence that a sub 5 min 1500m is getting closer every single training session. Just got to have the patience, be healthy, train hard and listen to coach. 

My next race will be back in Perth at the end of Feb and it will be my pet 1500m. 

Looking forward to the pain it brings.

Looking forward to the lactate.

Looking forward to running my lungs out.

Looking forward to push my body and mind to its limit once again.

Looking forward to smashing it.

No regrets. 

God willing that I will get closer to the qualifying mark race after race.

Really thankful for SDSC, SAA and coach Luis for making this special arrangement for me to train with such an awesome team. Not forgetting my team mates who push me every training session, never viewing me as someone less abled. 

Also, a huge "thank you" to everyone who came up to me, encouraged, cheered for me. Despite the humidity, head and sun, I'm beginning to love to race in Singapore a lot because of this "home support". Thank you

Nil Sine Labore

Glad to be able to keep up with some young pups this time round

Trying my best to imitate the "head dive" at the end of the sprint. Not quite successful though =x

Sponsorships for 2016

I am thrilled to announce my sponsors for 2016.
Thank you for making me your FIRST ever para-athlete endorsee.
Thank you for supporting para sports.
Thank you all for supporting me in my quest for the #rio #paralympics .
Some might say its a big dream.
Well, no dream is too big, so long as the hard work is laid.

Nil Sine Labore

the 1500m - first of many

This ASEAN Para Games (APG) has been a huge roller coaster ride for me. Lots and lots went on behind the scene.

After training hard well for my 1500m, I was informed 2 weeks prior to the games that it was cancelled and I would be competing only in the 400m. I think by now, everyone could have a glimpse of how frustrated I was back then, losing my pet event and having to compete in an event in which I know (almost certainly) that I would be last. I could not understand why it happened this way and I was extremely disappointed with the situation. All I could do was to pray in hopes that I will be given back my pet event.

I prayed for a miracle, to have 1 more competitor in this event so that it will be pushed on but as the days go by, I started to resign to that fact that the 1500m is all but lost.

On the eve of the opening ceremony, I was told that the 1500m was put back on! This totally fired me up and suddenly I was all excited about racing. Thank God for putting the event back.

However, the roller coaster ride continued. 2 days before my event, my grandmother was admitted into the emergency ward and was told by doctors that she had less than 48 hours to live. After getting special permission, I rushed over to the hospital. What made it worse was that my parents flew out of the country that very morning and they had to rush back into the country. Everyone was praying hard for my father to be back to see his mother once more before she passed on. Thankfully, my parents made it back to Singapore the next evening and my grandmother was holding up. Knowing that my parents are emotionally stable and handling themselves well, I decided it was time for me to check back into the games village and prepare myself for the race. This was how I spent my days leading up to my 1500m event. Emotionally drained and probably a little physically drained from the lack of rest. Not the ideal lead-up but I have got to be responsible and do what is right: to race my hearts out.

After 3 days of athletics competition, there had been talks that I was Singapore's best medal hopeful for athletics and deep down the pressure was building. I tried not to be sucked into the pressure and reminded myself that it is all about the clock and myself.

"Since my marathon days, it has always been me and the clock, this is not going to change." I kept reminding myself and focused on what I needed to do. I have always thought of racing as "collecting my report card". All the hard work has be laid and done during training. All the throwing up, falling down, crawling to get back on my feet, heat chamber training etc had all be done. It is time to enjoy the run and reap what I had sowed.

I was definitely nervous going into the race. But the moment I went to do my warm up, listening to my music and my body just went into auto-pilot mode and soon, I was in race mode. 

As I was walking out into the stadium, I could hear cheers from friends and that really gave a little more pressure! Then again, it was good pressure. These were the people whom I had spent half my life-time with, there will be no holding back. Even if I had to tear my hamstrings, I was determined to try to go for Gold.

The race unfolded according to my "research". I knew the Indonesian would take the lead right from the start because he was the previous gold medalist and he has a good quick 400m. I also knew the Vietnamese would try to edge me during our next 800m. So I made sure I protected the inner lane and made him take the outer lane (so he will always run a little more than me). I tried to close the gap during the 3rd lap but I eventually lost the race to the better runner. Kudos to Timin for the brilliant race.

A huge thank you to those who believed that I will one day run again. Because you didn't give up on me, I had that extra assurance. I know I have lots of support from down under too! And I love you guys! More work will be done in Perth that's for sure. I know this is my first step out as a 1500m runner and I am still learning the ropes.  Rest assure, I will continue to push on for the coming years and God willing if I will bag a few more medals.

The bros. It meant alot to me.

Talk about leaving everything on the track.

The smile says it all.

Thank you to all volunteers, especially to those at the stadium! Love you guys to bits! Thanks for making everything so awesome, without which this would not be such a wonderful experience.


Nil Sine Labore
prepared and written by Zac Leow

Happy 2nd Anniversary

Its 6 November again.
So fast and its been 2 years since my accident.
so much has changed. So much more improvements.

For my 1st anniversary, I ran 21 km around Matilda Bay.
Some how, God has brought me back to Perth to celebrate my 2nd Anniversary. Which I have absolutely no objection to =p

Initially, I had no intention of running another 1500m till the ASEAN Para Games in December 2015. However, my coach told me to do a 1500m race to get myself race ready. So I had no choice but to sign up for one. (Yeah, never argue with your coach). The race was supposedly on 30 October but was pushed back a week due to some another event and so it happens that I will be racing on my 2nd accident anniversary! What a way to celebrate it. Seems to me that everything was "planned".

During my warm-up, it started raining and the wind was so strong. I was wet and cold, and I wasn't sure if my legs could move well. I was a little worried. Then it struck me. The harder the challenge, the better I strive. This is the typical "Have you met Zac?" moment.

It was the PERFECT way to celebrate my 2nd anniversary. Shitty conditions, missed meal times, slippery track, wet spikes... THIS IS SO PERFECT. How else will it be "defying all odds" right?

Got myself focused, raced and got myself a new Personal Best for the 1500m.

Thinking back, just 2 years ago, there I was lying in bed, unable to move my fingers, unable to pee or shit and was told I will not run again. Good thing that I am one stubborn person who doesn't believe in what others think.

Was recently told that any accident-related recovery usually stops after 2 years and there will be almost no improvement after that.  and.. the same thought goes through my head: I don't care about your "experiences". Everything is possible for he who believes. So lets just move on, rock and roll, and prove the critics wrong (again).

I wonder what the 3rd year might bring. I am really looking forward to it.

Before the rain comes, everything looks perfect. 

my drills are seriously looking so much better than before! *proud moment*

My infamous pre-race stress face. Puffer Fish Face. 

This time, I managed to pin my own tag. Im getting better =)

At the 1500m starting line with some the young pups. Let not the age fool you. Sub 4:45 runners.

Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for being so brave to walk this journey with me. Thank you for being there just to witness me run another PB. I promise, more good things will come. The best is yet to be.

Nil Sine Labore



prepared and written by Zac Leow

Beijing Open 2015

Para athletes are classified into different categories to ensure that the individuals in the categories have the same functionality with others he/she is competing against. It is sorta like a "license" to race, in particular, international races. Although being in the same category, there are always those who are at the top of the category and those who are at the bottom. This meant that although para-athletes are in the same class, they vary in functionality, strength, speed and perform. Given that, a race within a class is as open as it is for an abled body individual. That being said, shifting from one class to the next class is somewhat equivalent to changing the weight class in a boxing match. Imagine a feather weight going up against a middle weight. Gosh. But that's how it feels like when a T36 meets a T37 in the para-world. Previously I was classified by the Australian "local" body that I am a T37 and without hesitation, I went online to have a look at the timings of some races.

I couldn't believe my eyes. 

400m WR 50.91.

100m 11.65 Commonwealth games 2014.

1500m 4:08.11 London paralympics.

"Well, maybe I'm just put in a wrong class. It's really impossible to be running at that pace..."

So here I am in Beijing, not just to represent Singapore in the 400m and 800m, more importantly, to get my official classification from the International Paralympic Community. 

So now, after review and testing from the International Paralympic Community, my official class is indeed still T37. 

"Wow. Is that even possible. How in the world will I run at that pace? Are these timing real?"

Athletics team manager (Loh) and myself after the classification.

So race day came as I continue to ponder. Maybe because this is my first international duty, I was seriously nervous. I even went for a solo 45min walk, 3 hours prior to my race. As I walked, I couldn't shake off the pressure and tension that was slowly building up. How am I gonna win this race? .. 

Then I remembered, all I have to do is to do my absolute best. If I'm gonna get dropped, kudos to the other runners. It's time to simply race against the clock, just like how I have always been doing. Time to better my best. Immediately, I started visualize how the 800m merging would be done later. Mental practicing the situation over and over again. And I also prepared myself to be dropped by the field. It was a very sad feeling. To go for a race only to be dropped. Then again, I thought of how I first started out with my Tri mates. I remembered being whooped by a talented 15 year old girl during my 400m repeats and vaporized by the rest of the boys in the 800m run. I smiled. I knew I was ready to run. I had raced with the best before. This is no different. It is my pleasure to race along side such talents. 

My cool Asics Top Impact Line + CyberJapan spikes.

The winner of my T37 class came in at an astonishing 2:10 for 800m and 53s for 400m. And I found out later that he broke the the Asia record in the 1500m. Now, I do believe the WR, Its simply amazing. Talk about being thrown into the deep end of the pool and competing against the best. 

Although I lost both the 400m and 800m, I was pleased that I have my all. My absolute.. And it showed. I broke both my personal best in the 400m and 800m. My coach once said this to me "it is about taking one step forward every single training, every race." And true enough, as long as I work on myself, focus on doing the right things, I will be able to take more steps towards my goal. Every single step counts. Tokyo 2020.

With this 400m timing, I have unofficially qualified for the ASEAN Para Games. Will have to work on my 1500m because 800m event is unavailable during this meet. Let's hope something's left over from my marathon days. :)

Beijing Open has been a real eye-opener for me. Gonna work harder and to stop limiting myself.

Nil Sine Labore.

nervously waiting for the 400m

visualising just moments before the start of the race.

Lets go to... Beijing Open!

Today marks another milestone in my life. 

Today, I am on my first international duty. I am on my way to represent Singapore in the Beijing Open. Although this is not a big athletic meet, I hope this marks the start of more international duties and more importantly, me getting better and faster.

My favorite event till today is no doubt the marathon. I'm sure all my team mates know this. The longer the distance, the better I am. The fact that I hate sprint distance courses is no surprise. Well, for now, I have traded my marathon flats for track spikes. I will be competing in the 400m and 800m during the Beijing Para Open! Surprise surprise!! Even I am surprised.. 

I remembered how unsettled I was the day before my 400m time trial in February. I was so nervous that I had to message my coach and confess about my nervousness. And his reply was so simple, so absolute: 

Well, you have done lots of 400m repeats in your life. This is no different. It's just another 400m. 

With this reply, I got my head screwed back on and I actually did really alright for my first ever sprint! 

And just 3 weeks back, we met up in Perth and he asked if I was ready for the Beijing Open. Being sick and all, I wasn't confident at all. He then offered yet another priceless encouragement:

Well. It's just 1% of the marathon distance isn't it?

Thanks Grant. What would I do without you!! <3 div="">

I think what makes me really proud of this event is the fact that just over a year ago, I was still learning how to run. I remember the day when I was down at Busselton with James An, watching the rest of the of my awesome UWA Tri mates smashing themselves out in the Busselton half. I was so envious of everyone. Swimming, cycling and running their hearts out. Smashing their body minute after minute, hour after hour. As I watch them cross the finishing line one after the other, I had nothing but respect for them. I admired their courage, I felt their passion and happiness but I couldn't feel the "pain" they were feeling. And that's something I missed so much. To run my hearts out. Deep down I asked myself if I will ever do something so amazing again. 

Ever since my injury, there has been people who have (unintentional) put me down. They told me I'm not good enough. They told me I was too being greedy for wanting to be normal again. They told me to be realistic and face the fact I wouldn't be normal again. I am thankfully for their harsh words, for it made me stronger. Im glad I saw every physiotherapy session as a training. And honestly, I am really glad I wasnt too concern about what was said. I just did what my coach alway tells me: there is no point in training if it aint challenging you.

For those who have encouraged me, who had the faith and courage to believe in a paralyzed man that he will indeed one day stand, walk and run again, I thank you. 

To those who had shed your tears for and with me, I'm sorry to have put you through such pain. I thank you for your love. 

To my friends from around the world: Rocktape Australia (Tony), Evolved physiotherapy (Neil & Evana), Acupoint Singapore (Diana) and Asics japan (Tadashi san), thank you for believing and assisting a broken man like me. This friendship will last a life time. 

To my family and fiancee, I love you!

You guys have no idea how much all these meant to me. This run is gonna be for all of you. Every single one of you. For believing in the impossible. 

As I approach the starting line this weekend. I will hold my head up. Because not only do I represent my country and friends from Singapore, but also my beloved friends from down-under and from the rising sun.

I might not be fast enough (yet), I will most likely be one of the slowest in the race. But Rest assured that I will do what I always have been doing: to give my absolute best, to better my best.

Nil Sine Labore. 

Indeed, at my own pace, I will better my best and I will reach the top!
Thanks buddy for this. Love it!! =)

Super cool color isnt it? Love Asics Japan.

My Family in Perth: UWATRI

Just took the hardest walk to Uni.
I went to see the team one last time before leaving and I was overwhelmed with emotions on the way there.

When I first came to Perth, I knew that the transition wouldnt have been easy, especially for the fact that I didnt have any friends who were living in Perth then. I remember searching the internet for a running club that I could join so that I could join in, meet some mates and improve running. Well, probably the focus was really be on running. Eventually, I chose to join the UWATRI team.

I remembered the very first running session I had with Dracup, James An, Vanessa and Damian at Mt Bay. It was the Friday afternoon 5km Time Trial run. I remembered how everyone was blazing the run then and I just had to go in so hard just to keep up with Dracup until the turn around (that sly asswipe). I remembered the following session at McGillivary and that was the day I met Grant Landers, the best coach I have ever met in my life. I remembered how painful and torturous the workouts were and how I consistently was unable to finish the workout. Despite saying all these, Tuesday and Friday soon became my favourite days of the week and my week was generally built around this two days.

Getting my first ever group ride out. Unfortunately the first and last (hopefully I get back into this).

Muffins never tasted so good.

Little did I know, instead of finding myself a club/team, I found myself a family here in Perth. A family that made Perth "home" and unfortunately had to witness my accident; a family who constantly supported me through this period.

The hardest goodbyes are those that you dont want to make. For the past 2 days, I have been making those.

Getting as much rest before Grant arrives is part of our training. #truestory

The excited and worried feeling while waiting for the workout.

Intervals have never been as fun. Thanks to you guys.

As Josh calls us. "GLDT"

Thanks Grant.
Thanks Charles.
Thanks UWATri.

Love you guys so much. Take care, train well and ride safe.

Till we meet again. And hopefully by then, I will continue to recover and get in some decent workout with you guys then.

1st Anniversary

366 days ago on the 6 Nov 2013 my accident occurred.
A life changing event indeed.

Somehow, even till today, I dont really want to talk about how it happened. Because deep down, I still feel frustrated about the situation and it is something that I would have rather not happened to me, or anyone.

6 Nov is now another date that I choose to celebrate.
Its a day where I survived.
It was a matter of split seconds, ~ 2 mm that could have changed everything.


So on my special day, I celebrated it by going for a 21 km time trial. Well, its only a time trial because im giving it my all. It has nothing to do with speed, unfortunately.

As I running, thoughts came flooding through my mind.
364 days ago I was indirectly told I would never walk again.
I chose not to give up.
I chose to believe in miracles.
I chose to believe in my determination.
I chose to believe in God.

I could remember the moments when breathing was so painful because my lunges were collapsing.
I could remember the hyper sensitivity in my arms that made every light touch felt like knife slitting me, skinning me alive. Even till today, I still get these sensitivity at times.
I could remember how desperate I was to move my body but yet they didnt feel like they belonged to me.
I pray I will never experience this ever again.

I thought of how this has affected my family and I am really apologetic to put them through all these sufferings.
I remembered every one who visited me, people who sent me encouraging messages. Thank you.

I remembered my first run in January 2014. Although it was 5 simple steps, there were tears of joy.

I remembered the days were I would walk for an hour just to reach the lecture theaters and me taking a day just to type my assignments. There were even talks of UWA providing me a buggy so I could drive it on campus.

I thought of the days prior to the accident, days whereby running along Mat Bay was an easy task, some what of a relaxing jog. Today, every step is tough. The moment I relaxed, I would trip or my feet drags. I have to been on constant alert to ensure I do not fall and that I can keep going. Being able to run is such a privilege. I just didnt know it.

Then I remembered how 321 days ago on the 20 Nov 2013 I was told I will never complete a marathon again, let alone run it.
I smiled.
I grinned.
I remember how I told her: "You havent come across Zac. I am an outlyer". and what was her reply? "You can try, it is good to have a goal. But be realistic"
In another month, I will take part in the Singapore Marathon and that would be my 2nd in 2014. Out of the sudden, I felt happy jogging at 7min/km. ha.

Over the weekend, I got my classification license for Para-athletics.
The assessors were particularly impressed with my movements despite the high spasms, increased tone and reduced range of motions. We did a couple of run throughs and sprints. Following that, the assessors encouraged me to participant in the coming state meets that could result in me representing Australia in the near future. Funny thing was, I was advised to do 100m sprints. Without a doubt, I rejected it.

I love endurance events.
I love the feeling of having to battle the inner demons while Im on the run.
I love to overcome all the negative thoughts that tell me to "stop" or to "go slower".
I love the feeling of running till my lunges are gonna explode but yet I manage to find another gear to push on.
Even when I do not get on the podium, winning against myself is enough.

In this regard, obviously, I chose the longest event on the list: 1500m. And still, I think its a little too short for me. 100% certain that I do not have enough speed for the run but its gonna be fun building speed into my runs I reckon. Just hope my shoulders can hold up.

As my run continues, the inner demons came and I had to fight my way through that and of course the infamous head wind. It was a struggle. I lost count of the number of times I wanted to stop running and head home. #1 trouble of running in loops. What made things worse was that my drink bottle got smashed by a cyclist. No idea why and how he/she did it but im sure all cyclists avoid red drink bottles on grass patches. So I was without a water point for the remainder 10 km. Must have been a test to see I would have given up. Well, I stuck through and finished my 21km, 20 minutes faster than my half marathon on 31 May. So good job. Im satisfied for now.

There really isnt much reason for me to train now. But I still do it because I love it.
And im sure running helps me in some ways. and hey, who knows? Maybe a miracle might appear (again).

-side track-
there has been jokes about me do going to get any more miracles in this life time because I have conjured everything to survive and to run again. Its actually pretty funny but at the same time, makes me realised how miraculous it is for me to typing this entry now.
-side track over- 

More running to come, more marathons to complete and hopefully one day, I will get my confidence back and start riding on the road again then I can do the longest single day event on planet Earth.
Dying to hear that 5 sweet words "You are a Iron man".

6 November. I choose to embrace and celebrate this date.
Because. I am still alive.
Lets see how things will go on our 2nd anniversary. <3 p="">Im excited.