I cant help but wonder if I have reached my physical limits
in the 1500m.
2017 hasn't been a kind year to be thus far, having issues
with the infamous runner’s curse, plantar faciitis. I have always wondered how
such a simple injury could hamper numerous runners for months if not years. And
just when they think its over, this plantar issue flares up on the other foot
and the cycle repeats.
Today’s race has been bothering me so much that I can’t
sleep. Not because I did not run a personal best nor was it because it didn't
unfold according to plan (how often to life goes according to plan anyways?!)
My plan for the race on 10 March was to start really fast
and hold on to it for as long as possible, a strategy that usually doesn't work
well. That was exactly how it went. Started off with a record 400m pace and
inevitably got slower and slower with every 200m and came to a crawl. Hence,
the strategy for today was to run an even pace throughout the race, a strategy
that is seldom applied in race as well.
The week leading up to today’s race has been fantastic. I
was running the fastest I have ever been over 10km, 5km and 1km. I had a couple
of interval track sessions at race pace (21s/100m) and completed those with not
much issues.I was silently confident that I would be able to run an awesome
1500m tonight.
Warm up at 630pm was brilliant despite the pain in the
plantar.
Warm up at 715 was horrible though. Spasms kicking in for
both legs and left arm. I told myself its because of the cold wind and brushed
that aside, assuring myself that it will all be fine once the race starts.
730pm. Set my garmin on a 21s intervals and got to the
starting line.
Started the race in the middle of the pack feeling good
about my position and was running faster than my target pace. I held back to
maintain my target pace and was perfect for 400m.
Started to reel into an opponent at 600m and had to work
around his pace or speed up to overtake him. It was brilliant racing from him,
sprinting on every straight and whenever I seemed to have overtaken him,
forcing me to constantly run on the outer lane. That totally threw me out of
whack and I had to take the outer lane. I started to drift away from my target
pace but that was just part of racing, I stopped my garmin and focused on the
race.
Finally, with 600m to go, I shook him off. I could feel the
gap opening with every step I took. However, I started to lose control of my
body. The left arm and leg refused to move and it started to choke my
running. I started to hobble more than I
would like and much earlier as well than expected as well (usually happens in
the last ~120m). I tried to manage the spasms by varying my speed, trying to
relax my body but nothing worked. I dug deeper that I ever had, focusing on
putting one leg in front of the other, regardless how small the step was.
300m to go and I could see the clock. It would still be a
good race if I could just hang in there. But I couldn’t. My right leg has been
over compensating for much of the race and it has started to take its toll.
200m to go and I was caught by the person I once overtook. I
tried to run at my own race, focusing on a simple goal: to get my body across
the finishing line. Things got worse with every step. I couldn’t feel my body,
I couldn’t control it and I was about to fall.
Just 60m more.. Just a couple of steps away.. and I fell
straight to the ground. I have no idea how long I was on the ground but I could
think of was to: Get up, finish the damn race. And so I did. I got up, hurled
my body across the finishing line and fell to the ground depleted. Leaving
everything on the track. That’s what every race is.
After the race as I was leaving the stadium, my vision went
into a blur. I started breaking into cold sweat and I couldn’t move. I stayed
seated till the stadium lights were out and threw up. This wasn’t the kind of
lactate throw up. It was something I had a couple of experience with. Its my
spinal cord injury acting up. The specialist hypothesize that this phenomenon
occurs when I push my body to its limit and my body rejects the activity. I was shaking, shivering and constantly
shifting in and out of consciousness. I really thought I was about to die. Thank
God my wife was with me and drove me home after I mastered enough strength to
walk to the car.
Once inside the car, the feeling of throwing up grew
stronger, my eyelids grew heavier and my body weaker. I fear that I might be
paralyzed again and I tied to move my fingers and toes whenever I could. I
can’t help but think back about the doctors who told me to avoid running at all
cost.
Got home safely and the awful feeling started to subside.
Today was a day, I am thankful to be alive, running again. I wasn’t upset with
the timing. I wasn’t consumed by the race. I was happy to be alive. It's a very
weird feeling.
Just how much more and how much longer can I push this body?
Maybe it's the event.
Maybe it's the falls.
Maybe it’s just forcing the body to re-wire to do the things
I want.
The world of unknown awaits everyone and probably a little more
for me.
Ps. Craps. I have a really sore shoulder from all the
falling now. This shit has no end. Hai..
prepared and written by Zac Leow
